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Bendonium World

In your Nippy Sack we trust!

Bedonium Exploratory Devining Expeditions (BEDEs)

In the field: expeditions 2005

There follows a list of all expeditions, conducted under the auspices of The Bendonium Society for the year 2005. Those that are S.P.A.B. certified are in bold type. Only those that are thus certified are necessitated in providing a financial breakdown of costs. Crimp off my lungs.

Expedition Title	Epedition dates	Bendonium found	Comments
Midlands BEDE	11-23/01/05	NONE	Two members died
Dorset BEDE	21-26/02/05	NONE	Ray startled by ‘River’foxes
N. Wales BEDE	03-18/03-04/05	NONE	Member shot
Suffolk BEDE	02-19/04/05	NONE	Team harpooned
Ontario BEDE	07-16/05-08/05	NONE	Boorah Boorah divining technique used for the first time since 1937. No deposits found.
Kenya BEDE	23-07/06/05	NONE	Colin murdered by natives
Islay BEDE	27-04/07-08/05	NONE	Rich seams suspected
Kent BEDE	01-03/08/05	NONE	Danny went spastic
NZ BEDE	08-?/08-?/05-?	NONE	Four team members found with illegal face doubles
IOW BEDE	17-18/09/05	NONE	Abandoned due to giant crab
Penrith BEDE	01-?/10-?/03-?	NONE	No news is good news?

Dear Members and Anti-Members

It is a great honour for me to have been asked to share these notes with you and to bring to a close Issue 1 of Bendonium World.

What better way to finish than to stand with me and sing the anthem of the Bendonium Society – “In Your Nippy Sack We Trust”

In Your Nippy Sack We Trust

Since those bees they came to town

We’ve seen most things

But always in brown

With our Sacks we drove them down

Now when we look

Nothing is brown

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks are a must

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks in you we trust

Along came a new sire

His arms on the ground

A new ruler of Nippy Sacks he found

But this power

It was not his deed

So the bees did reconvene

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks are a must

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks in you we trust

Nippus Saccus now so new

His tunnel dug

But hidden from view

The bees became smoothed

All tiny and brown

See my legs dance

See me in a crown

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks are a must

Those Nippy Sacks

Those Nippy Sacks in you we trust

Nippy Sacks keep us safe

Amen

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IBEDE 03 Survey results and analysis

The Societies recent field trip (IBEDE 03) to the inner Hebridean island of Islay was a great success. Although no Bendonium deposits were found, there is little doubt that there are some rich seams in the South coastal regions of the island. A table showing the FUB and SPINK normalised data is presented for public viewing. Further data may be obtained direct from The Bendonium Society by applying to the usual address, quoting ref IBEDE03/DF.

Region (See map)	Time[1] averaged full scale deflection of BDDD78	Buzzy Krados	Time inside rodo part or outside. (minutes)	Face batted off.	FUB and (SPINK) Numbers (Best fit)
1	45.7	Yes	40	Yes	1.1 (4509)
2	34.1	Yes	38	Partial 2	1.1 (5660)
3	78.1	No	12	Partial	1.1 (7908)
4	78.5	No	56	No	46 (4308)
5	1410	n/a	78	No	0.23 (5150)
6	56.9	Possible	12	Partial	GRAB
7	231	Yes	78	Yes	0.97 (8956)

As can be seen the data collected is highly suggestive of Bendonium and also of it’s sister compound Ben-do-do-do-ranium7. Further, more detailed, data will be available when IBEDE04 return in the summer of next year. Compound eye?

1) Integration time 40 seconds with standard head. 55 seconds with PundaCherryLarge Head.

2) Minimal etching or wrenching applied. Below 55 KN as defined by Pissovich

3) Likely to Buzzy Krados but event was above threshold frequency

4) Multiple values found, refer to PUMP or Bagofshat.

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