BUBBSEYE ADVERTISER
Antiques and collectables
Whispy items
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GA. Perfect
specimen. Has full use of limbs and is mildly retarded. Obsessed with
onions and not suited to family outings. Best kept with other Gary's.
Lot 320
£ 99
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GARRY Original
and hardly used Garry over thirty years old. In Mint condition. Added
rareness due to unusual spelling. Prone to shitting. Must see.
Lot 78
£120
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GARY Excellent
condition, recently tuned and serviced. Comes with full wardrobe and set
of wrenches. May become deranged if exposed to jam.
Lot 99
£ 35
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GIRRAFS’
CRAP
perfect condition, rarely used. Comes packaged in fifty, 500 lb storage
bags. Perfect gift. Seller
retarded.
Lot 59
£250
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HAIRY HAROLD
over 500 years old. Was involved in The battle of Trafalgar. Signed by
Lord Nelson. Face has partially evaporated.
Lot 740
£ 6000
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IMBECILE matrix,
reusable and re-tinted. Suitable for children or adults. May liquefy
without warning.
Lot 61
£99
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JOCULAR
CRIPPLES,
ten mild mannered and good humoured cripples with assorted ailments.
Fantastic for parties and a must have for all witch doctors. Wheelchairs
included.
Lot
92
£ 1000
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NUMPTY.
Oh what a lovely Numpty. See him row, row, row. Just
feed him buttered crumpets and watch him go, go, go.
Lot 467
£ 50
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PRACTICAL
MURDER Handbook.
Very informative and beautifully illustrated. Covers major techniques
and introduction to cannibalism. Good
condition. Lot 2 £
80
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WEASELS'
VOICES All
original and individually stored in their own air tight containers. Some
people may be offended by what the weasels have said. Lot
6
£ 600
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WEIRD
WILLIAM Deranged
old tramp called William. Smells strongly of piss anf sometimes of
scones. Requires walking twice daily and needs special diet of flans. Lot
681
£5
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XYLOPHONE Hand
crafted over 10 generations from dried things. Unique and absolutely
revolting. Incarceration forces sale. New owner likely to be murdered. Lot 8
£ 50 000
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Non-whispy items
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COMPLETE
SET of
microscopic David's. Hand painted and assorted flavours. A must have for
any serious David collector or David enthusiast. Lot
42
£150
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CONAN
The
Barbarian, pickled in white wine vinegar and stored in 500 litre
earthenware jar. Ideal patio decoration. Buyer collects Lot
19
£300
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DARIUS,
mint
condition with 50 cc winch motor and fully operational tapered
hindsight.
Lot
12
£699
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DONOVAN,
Jason,
face mask and costume. Worn once by Jason himself. May not be Jason
Donovan.
Lot
793
£25
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ELEPHANT,
experimental.
Good natured and partially extended. Would make ideal pet for the
security conscious. Dead. Lot 2
£30
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FEATHER
OF DEATH Ancient
and mystical feather from South America. Cursed. Best kept in lead lined
bunker. Sale as owner is becoming walrus-like. Lot
23 £
Free
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FIRST
WIG EVER, recently
reworked with guitar and toothpick. Faded fringe and slightly tatty back
piece. Would suit me.
Lot
47
£ POA
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FLOPPY
BABY.
Complete rights to floppy baby syndrome. Careful application could make
you £££'s
Lot
17
£15 000
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FORK
OF PORK. A
fork with two tines made from finest Shropshire pork. Circa 1850.
Varnished and cured. Diseased.
Lot
58
£500
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Ever
so slightly whispy items
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Alligator style
face panels, slightly worn chin section, would suit big dwarf or backward
midget. £45 LOT 12
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Cutlass on wheels, in mint condition and recently overhauled. Very small size
of owner prohibits sale to larger bodied buyers. £120 LOT11
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Hooded hams, half a dozen smoked, Parma hams with individual silk hoods of different
colours. All racked and wretched. £ 1050 LOT 8
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Armchairs, pair.
Over easy, dropped chrome armchairs all busted up.£90 Buyer collects
LOT 73
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Damp wigs, bag
of twenty. Some poor condition some have disappeared over time £60 for
lot. LOT 59
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Hunting Harry, clockwork model with slightly poisonous face. Good condition. £100 LOT
82
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Beef collection,
some rare pieces over forty years old. Need to sell as now collecting
pork. £300 LOT 15
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Dragon shaped
dog’s mask. Worn once. Prime condition, would suit dog with swollen
muzzle. £200 LOT 451
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Internal terror, special thing that is very small but will not hinder the social
crapper. £70 LOT2
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Items
more whispy than not
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Blazers, 10
all hand sewn and all chinky.
Collect them and then burn them or let me burn them for you. £ 65 the
lot. LOT 13
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Egg manual, early
19th Century hardbound and in good condition. Absolutely packed
with eggs and mince. £ 90 LOT 902
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Juice maker, C 12th Century stone and brass construction with a missing
boy’s face. Slight wear to silvered buttocks. £ 11000 LOT 128
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Bomber Jacket, Puffy
type style, worn once, filled with minced prawns. 40 inch chest. Crème
and Mint colour scheme will need attention in morning and may contain
animal urine. £20. LOT 789
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French Cripples. Assorted
and recently vaulted. Come with original rack and feeding helmets. All in
excellent condition will swap for a barrel of retards in similar condition
or sale. £ 500 LOT 682
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Mump in a basket, absolute
shite. Fully retractable bags of old minging crap. Chief Liffy once owned
this and kept it rammed up his massive hairy fucking arse. Must see, buyer
collects. £ 300 LOT 1
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Bunk Bed, Mahogany
single bunk bed, 6’ by 3’ foot, with good quality mattresses, all
smashed up and then burnt. £15 Buyer collects. LOT 64
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Fring O Pinger, Absolutely
mint condition and with complete handle and walnut accessory bar. £ 780 LOT 89
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Slim line face
wrenching machine, probably mid
18th century and with full set of cams and weights. £ 12000
LOT 5
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Crabs eyes, bin
full approx 50 kg. Owner dead hence quick sale. £30 LOT 9
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Guts, 15
lbs of ancient dried up guts in holdall. £ 150 LOT 70
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To advertise with us
simply call: “YA YA BODY PLUS”. To respond to advert call and state
LOT number.
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